As you can see, I’m pregnant with Baby # 3. 25 wonderful weeks pregnant, to be exact. When I was pregnant with Harrison, we called him “Baby G” because we didn’t have a name picked out. Whitt, then naturally, was Baby G2. So this little one is Baby G3 for now. (My last name begins with G.)
If you’ve seen me, then you know I’ve been open about sharing my obvious pregnancy. But with the exception of briefly mentioning it in my goals post last month, I just haven’t been able to announce it to social media or here on the blog yet. You see, with each pregnancy, I’ve become more guarded. I think it’s because, as a mother of two, I know now just how precious babies really are.
When people tell you that there is no love like the love for a child, it is true.
But what I was rarely, if ever told, is a fear like no other also comes along with that love.
If they’re sleeping too soundly, I will check to make sure my boys are still breathing. I will even nudge them, risking waking them, just to be absolutely sure. And, I’m always thinking about the worst case what-if’s scenarios. You know, the crazy stuff – if our car falls over the bridge I’m driving across, how will I get us all out of the water? Why don’t I have a seatbelt cutter? Should I crack the windows now, or wait until we’re submerged? If the house catches on fire while we’re all sleeping, how will I get the boys outside safely from the second floor? Should I buy a fire ladder for each bedroom? Is Harrison big enough to climb down by himself while I carry Whitt, or will I need to come back up?
And then stories like this one bring those crazy fears to life. And my heart just breaks.
I’ve also watched friends lose babies, two lately at or past the 20 week mark. My heart has ached for my friends. I have felt their losses, as much as one can hurt for another. And, I’ve worried even more about the fragile little one growing inside me.
Love and fear aside, I am so excited about the idea of another little baby around here. So excited. I’ve always wanted three children, so this really feels like a dream coming true. Because this may be my last pregnancy, I am trying to savor it. I am trying not to rush it or wish it away, despite the 20 weeks of
morning sickness all day nausea or three months of heat and humidity that will be my third trimester.
I “winged it” with Whitt because he was my second boy. I tried to be relaxed and to go with the flow. But the truth is, I’m a planner at heart, and going with the flow was much more stressful for me than having everything ready. So, for this baby, I’ve made a list and am checking it twice. You can expect several “getting ready for baby posts” and many more thoughts on motherhood.
Especially for you new mothers, what would be helpful? What do you want to know?