Baby G3

 

Eric snapped this for me on the 4th of July. I know...my couch slipcover is filthy, and I am shopping for new pillow covers, so the pillows are naked. Just keeping it real for you.

Eric snapped this for me on the 4th of July

As you can see, I’m pregnant with Baby # 3. 25 wonderful weeks pregnant, to be exact. When I was pregnant with Harrison, we called him “Baby G” because we didn’t have a name picked out. Whitt, then naturally, was Baby G2. So this little one is Baby G3 for now. (My last name begins with G.)

If you’ve seen me, then you know I’ve been open about sharing my obvious pregnancy. But with the exception of briefly mentioning it in my goals post last month, I just haven’t been able to announce it to social media or here on the blog yet. You see, with each pregnancy, I’ve become more guarded. I think it’s because, as a mother of two, I know now just how precious babies really are.

 

Harrison as a newborn. Photo by Gray Benko.

Harrison as a newborn. Photo by Gray Benko.

Whitt as a newborn. Photo by Gray Benko.

Whitt as a newborn. Photo by Gray Benko.

When people tell you that there is no love like the love for a child, it is true.

But what I was rarely, if ever told, is a fear like no other also comes along with that love.

If they’re sleeping too soundly, I will check to make sure my boys are still breathing. I will even nudge them, risking waking them, just to be absolutely sure. And, I’m always thinking about the worst case what-if’s scenarios. You know, the crazy stuff – if our car falls over the bridge I’m driving across, how will I get us all out of the water? Why don’t I have a seatbelt cutter? Should I crack the windows now, or wait until we’re submerged? If the house catches on fire while we’re all sleeping, how will I get the boys outside safely from the second floor? Should I buy a fire ladder for each bedroom? Is Harrison big enough to climb down by himself while I carry Whitt, or will I need to come back up?

And then stories like this one bring those crazy fears to life. And my heart just breaks.

Red Balloons for Ryan - send the Saldanas your support

Red Balloons for Ryan – send the Saldanas your support

 

I’ve also watched friends lose babies, two lately at or past the 20 week mark. My heart has ached for my friends. I have felt their losses, as much as one can hurt for another. And, I’ve worried even more about the fragile little one growing inside me.

Love and fear aside, I am so excited about the idea of another little baby around here. So excited. I’ve always wanted three children, so this really feels like a dream coming true. Because this may be my last pregnancy, I am trying to savor it. I am trying not to rush it or wish it away, despite the 20 weeks of morning sickness all day nausea or three months of heat and humidity that will be my third trimester.

I “winged it” with Whitt because he was my second boy. I tried to be relaxed and to go with the flow. But the truth is, I’m a planner at heart, and going with the flow was much more stressful for me than having everything ready. So, for this baby, I’ve made a list and am checking it twice. You can expect several “getting ready for baby posts” and many more thoughts on motherhood.

Especially for you new mothers, what would be helpful? What do you want to know?

 



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Comments

  1. Congrats! Can’t wait to see pictures of the new little one.

    • Victoria says:

      Thanks, Megan! We miss you guys and hope you’re feeling settled with your new little man. I’m sure you’re looking forward to getting even more settled in the new house.

  2. Danielle says:

    You look gorgeous! You know I am open to all “new momma” posts you put up, since we are three weeks apart and I am lost when it comes to registry, what to pack for the hospital, and basically all other things. :-)

    • Victoria says:

      Thanks, Danielle! I love seeing your bump pictures too. You got it – registry and hospital packing list coming up. I’ll try to get the registry one done asap, since your shower is a couple weeks.

  3. Beautifully written – as always. You have a true gift in your ability to convey raw emotion and true spirit via words.

    Not yet being a mom (and always possessing a burning desire to be a mother), I can still feel your sentiment in this blog. Maybe it’s easier to connect because I do so desperately want to be a mother – I’ve always imagined it, dreamed it, etc. Or, maybe I connect so fully with your ‘fears’ because I’ve now seen one of the very best mothers on this Earth lose a child. A grown child is still your child. When do those fears every really disappear?…I’m learning that fear of loss comes with the territory when you experience great love. I can only hope that the prayers said by family, friends, and strangers alike can always keep you and your family safe. And, in my prayers, you always remain.

    Congrats on ‘G3’ and your wonderful new blessing. I’m so very excited that your dream of a third is well on the way.

    • Victoria says:

      Thanks, Heidi. Love and loss are intertwined so strongly. I wish that you hadn’t had to experience such great loss, but then I suppose, that would somehow diminish the great love, and that doesn’t seem fair either. How I wish we could have these conversations in person, over coffee and hugs and tears. I promise we’ll stop in Jacksonville next time we head to Florida to see Eric’s family.

      Hoping you haven’t stopped dreaming…that you’re on a path to healing…and that your dreams will come true too. Xo

  4. I love you! You look absolutely beautiful! You could not have said it better. Before Libby Scott, I had no idea of the important things in life, and I truly see the world completely different through her eyes. She’s my everything. Can’t wait to meet baby G3!!!

    • Victoria says:

      Awww, love you too. Isn’t it funny how someone so little can change the way you see this big world?

  5. You mean I’m not the only one who has such thoughts while crossing bridges???
    You look fantastic!

  6. Monique Collins-Lester says:

    Thanks for sharing!!! It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one with those constant thoughts. You’re amazing. Keep up the good work.

    • Victoria says:

      Thank, Monique! When I see all of your running pictures, “you’re amazing” is exactly what I’m thinking about you. Hoping you can help me get back into running after this little one. I’m trying to stay in the gym this time, but I haven’t been running (unless you consider chasing toddlers “running”).

  7. So happy to hear the news. I totally freak out over bridges too, how would I get out fast enough to get them out. Not happy that you share this fear but glad to know I am not alone.

    • Victoria says:

      Thanks, Marg! And, from the comments here, it looks like we’re not alone in this fear either. Lunch soon? I’ll email you.

  8. Oh, congratulations. I am so so excited for you guys and baby #3! :)

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